Random Relationship Advice


pinky hold

Having watched too much “Sex in the City” reruns, I got to thinking about things that I wish someone told me about what to look for in a man.

When I was young, it was all blonds, all the time. And cute. Honestly, I didn’t look much farther than that.

As I hit my teen years, I realized that blond goes gray and “cute” often came with an attitude. So I focused on mutual interests and intelligence…keeping “blond and cute” around to refine my flirtation skills on.

Looking back at the early years, I can see – with the clarity of distance – that I was focused on superficial factors. Had I known then what I know now, I could have probably saved myself a lot of time and energy.

So here is my recommended list of criteria for Mr. Right. I believe these are the things that make for a lasting relationship … through thick and thin.

  • Look for a boy that makes you laugh. He’s the one that can make the rough times easier.
  • His looks aren’t everything…it’s how he looks at you – and how that makes you feel – that really counts.
  • Find the boy that can get you through the forest with very few resources. Make fun of “MacGyver” all you want, but I want to know that my boy can save me using his wits and a gum wrapper.
  • Make sure that he supports your interests outside of what you share. If you are totally dedicated to your softball team, stay dedicated. While he should cheer you on at the game once in a while, he doesn’t need to love it the way you do.
  • Pay attention to his reaction when you think you need help. The right one will know when you need it…and step in. Otherwise, he knows you can do it on your own because he believes in you.
  • It may sound trite, but watch how he treats children and his mother. Enough said.
  • And most importantly, find the boy that always puts your needs before his…and do the same for him.

Thankfully, the boy I met at age 16 filled all these qualifications and more. And while I didn’t realize it at our first meeting, it did register that somehow he seemed right. Throughout our relationship, I’ve slowly come to see that I knew instinctively that he was the one.

And more than 30 years later, he still makes me laugh.